It’s a well-known fact that anything that can go wrong when you’re trying to get to church will. Here we’ve listed some of the most common hindrances that keep us from winning the timeliness battle.
1. The snooze button
The snooze button is the single greatest enemy you face in your quest to make it to church on time. We believe God’s promise that we won’t be tempted beyond what we can bear, but that little button is almost enough to break our spirits.
2. All other living creatures
Spouses, children, even your dog will get in the way of any effort you make to get out the door in a timely fashion. From mysteriously disappearing shoes to fulfilling kids' strange breakfast needs, there’s no avoiding the exit delays that come with cohabitation.
3. Dress requirements
Navigating the ever-changing world of church fashion is a nearly impossible task. Are hats OK? Are jeans disrespectful? Do I need to wear formal shoes? These are all completely valid questions. Unfortunately, there’s no answer in sight so we’re left pacing the closet every Sunday, panicking over what to wear.
4. Your ever-vanishing Bible
Where oh where can it be? For such a big book, the Bible is remarkably easy to lose. You’ll get halfway out the door before realizing you don’t have it, run back in to grab it, then be unable to find it anywhere, so you’ll eventually give up and head back out to the car…where you realize it has been sitting this entire time.
5. Parking lot traffic
Try as they might, no church (or any establishment for that matter) has been able to master the art of wait-free parking. Even if you pull up to the lot with time to spare, by the time the nice volunteers have directed you to a spot, worship will be half over.
6. The greeter handshake you can’t shake
It’s the handshake that turns into a hug that turns into a full conversation. “How are you this morning?” sounds innocent enough, but is really code for “You’re not walking through these doors for at least 10 minutes.”
7. Coffee in the lobby
Not much explanation needed for this one: Where there is free coffee, there shall be latecomers.
8. Pre-church bathroom stops because of the aforementioned coffee
If you really want to be able to focus during the sermon, you have to go now, and at this point you’re already late, so why rush?
But despite the delays and nonsense, the chance to immerse yourself in community and God’s Word keeps us coming back week after week. It’s a chance well worth battling snooze buttons and parking lots for.